Does Grandma love me?

Vivian was like most little just-turned-four year olds.   Mom could hardly keep up.   The two of them had just returned from a trip to Grandma's and Vivian couldn't wait to get out of the car, and usually out of her clothes and go to her room and play.   She would dance and talk to herself and her babies.   Vivian loved her babies.  She would take at least one or more if mom let her everywhere she went.   For a four year old, mom recognized Vivian connected people relationally very well.   Whenever she would go to the store she would be quick to point out the babies momma.   It wasn't to long ago she connected the daddy to the momma and momma to the baby.   This always amazed mom.  She marveled at how sharp Vivian's mind connected the dots.   The opposite was true as well.    She always knew when one of the pieces was missing.  She would point out, mom,  that is her momma as she pointed to the mom holding the infant.   Mom would always respond.  That's right Vivian.  Isn't she cute?  Vivian would be quick to ask, where is the momma's daddy?   By "daddy" she meant husband.  But to a four year old every one has a daddy or should have a daddy.

Vivian came running in from her room with everything off but her tighty whities.  She loved to be naked.   When she played and was deep in thought she would twirl her hair and play with her navel.   She was so adorable mom could hardly stand it.   Vivian bounced around with her favorite doll and then mom noticed how she got still.   As she was deep in thought she wondered over to mom with a perplexed look on her face.  Mom knew that look and knew a question was coming soon.   Mom reached out to Vivian and invited her into her lap.  Vivian looking down and then looked up into Mom's eyes and asked,  Why doesn't Grandma live in Grandpa's house?   Mom knew this question was going to come up one day but never did she believe it would happen this soon.   Mom, wanting to buy some time to come up with an answer said,  Well Vivian, I am not real sure.  It is difficult to explain.  Not satisfied at all.  Vivian asked, doesn't Grandpa love Grandma?   Mom felt a little twinge of the almost forgotten pain at the question.  Oh no Vivian, Grandpa loves Grandma very much, mom quickly responded.

Vivian looking down again deep in thought.   Mom knew that this was very confusing for her.   Afterall everyone needs a "daddy" in Vivian's simple little world.  Vivian asked the obvious question, but she said so slowly almost as if afraid to ask the question or afraid of the answer.  Does Grandma love Grandpa?   Now the slight pain in mom's belly was sharp and all too familar.   It had been some time since mom's parents got a divorce and the pain that was there had been suppressed for a while.  It had been so long that mom thought that maybe it had gone away for good but no it was only dormant waiting for this moment.  Mom looked Vivian in those big blue eyes and said, Baby, I believe at one time she did and she still may but it's difficult to explain. 

Being intuitive beyond her years mom could see the wheels turning in Vivian's head.   Maybe Vivian isn't a chess player or a child prodigy but she puts 2 and 2 together very quickly even if she can't quite articulate it It is there.   Vivian looked back at mom and with a hint of tear in her eyes and a quiver in her voice she asked, "Are You Going to Leave Daddy?"   Vivian's neat little innocent world was being rocked right in front of her.  Vivian's 2 and 2 where coming together.  If Grandma left Grandpa then her mom might leave her daddy.  Mom quickly and with as much conviction and sincerity as she could muster looked Vivian in the eyes and with grief and remorse tried to assure her, Oh Vivian, momma is never going to leave daddy.  We will always be together.   Momma held Vivian really tight.   Vivian looked back at momma paused for a moment  and then asked, "Does Grandma Love Me?"   Again this floored mom.  Vivian recognized that if Grandma's idea of love included leaving Grandpa then whose to say Grandma won't leave her too someday.   Momma again quickly responded, Oh Vivian, Grandma loves you more than anything.

As Mom said those words she knew they rang hollow and thin.   If Vivian doesn't know now she will learn love is a verb it is not what someone says but rather it is what someone does that demonstrates their love.   The same pain that mom felt when her parents divorced she knew was now being visited upon her daughter.   As she held Vivian close she silently plead with God.  Oh Lord please please give my husband and I grace to stick together.  Don't let us ever yield to temptation or wander from you.   Please keep us God.  Please, for Vivian's sake and her children.

How He Loves Us - Part 2

For the next several posts I hope to expound on each line of the song "How He Loves Us". I hope you enjoy this as much as I will.

Love like a Hurricane, I am a tree bent by His waves of mercy.
For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. II Cor 5:14

Kim Walker ~ How He Loves US with lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-rW528qiYw

I loved the movie "The Notebook". As the love story builds the main character wrote love letters to his lover every day for one year. Later, as the story unfolds and the truth comes out about the un-returned letters, the lover is blown away by Noah's, the main characters, persistence and great faith in her, even though she never once responded or acknowledged the letters and effort. After being told of the letters, years later, she is clearly overwhelmed by his expression of love. The audience is captivated by this demonstration of love as well.

The line in this song so beautifully describes the Fathers violent, persistent, and tenacious pursuit of us. Jesus did not just write us love letters, which He did, but His demonstration of love towards us is so amazing so overwhelming and violent the image of a hurricane is beautiful. I have never personally witnessed a hurricane except on TV. The images are horrific. The wind and rain are relentless. It seems that it never stops. Wave after wave after wave of relentless thrashing. This image of this relentless violent rain is a great visual of His love for us.

No greater love than this than a man lay down His life for His friends. He took our place. Taking for us what we did deserve and giving us what we didn't. Martin Luther wrote of Jesus, "Hanging cursed upon the tree because of our transgressions, Jesus, in the Father's righteous judgment, had become "adulterer" to save sexual sinners. Likewise, He was "murderer" to save the hateful, as well as "oath-breaker," "liar," "sorcerer," and every other type of wicked person, even though He never committed a single one of these sins."

In our place Jesus took all our shame every embarrassing sin, the humiliation, the scorn. He took it all so that we might enjoy, obtain, and possess Him. What a Savior.

How He Loves Us - John Mark Mcmillan

This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God. I John 4:10 The Message

Ever so often there is a song that is the right song with the right words for the right time. This song has been that kind of song for me right now. It is amazing how the Lord does that. This song has been out for over 2 years but it recently has been covered by Kim Walker, Hillsong United and now David Crowder Band has just released it. It is being sung in churches everywhere right now. It has been a huge blessing to me as I have encounter the love of God afresh and anew. These lyrics have so impacted my thinking that I thought it would be a good source of encouragement as I blog each line of each verse. Taking a line at a time. I trust you enjoy this as much as I will. And I pray that the love of our Lord be an ever increasing wave that washes over you day after day.

Kim Walker version with lyrics on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-rW528qiYw&feature=related

John Mark Mcmillan - How He Loves Lyrics

Verse 1:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…